Turning Back to You, God (A Prayer of Confession)

Father, I love You so much. I worship You. I praise You – for who You are, and for all You’ve done in my life. Thank You for Your unending love.

I am so grateful, God, that You pulled me up out of the ashes. Was it really only six years ago? So much has happened since then. You’ve changed my life inside-out, and I thank You.

God, I’m so sorry, for all those years I turned a deaf ear to Your gentle voice. Your heart was for me. You never wanted me to jump off a cliff. You were standing by, so ready to show me where to take my next steps, so ready to lead and guide and be my comfort and strength. You were so filled with love for me, and so ready to pour Your blessings into my heart and my life.

But I chose to do it my way. I chose to dig my own path, to hack my way through the tangled weeds and briars, to wander through the wilderness, wailing and weeping, because my life was falling apart and the walls were caving in. I cried out to You in despair: “God, help!”; I never listened for Your response. I don’t think I really expected a response.

I had no idea how close You were, how intently Your gaze was focused on me, and how much Your heart ached for me. I had no idea how ready You were to intervene, if only I would let You, if only I would surrender. God, You loved me so much in that hour, when I wandered in circles and never lifted my gaze to find You. You loved me, and You kept me from worse harm, despite the destruction I tried to bring on myself. You never left my side. You never gave up on me. You never stopped calling, and You never stopped listening. You never stopped loving me.

God, I thank You for the ways You intervened, through the prayers of others – prayers that You put on their hearts for me. God, You drew me to a place where I could finally say, “Lord, I’m so sorry. I can’t do this on my own anymore. I need You, God.” And then like lightning, from the depths of Your heart, You reached in and lifted me up and held me close. You breathed new life into me. And thus began our journey, truly together, You and me – a journey of healing, and restoration, and new life.

Thank You, God, that You never leave us nor forsake us. Thank You that You are constantly drawing us to You, wooing our hearts, even when we turn away. Thank You for Your grace that surrounds us always, reminding us of who You are. Thank You, Lord, that when we turn our hearts back to You, and seek You first, and listen to You, that You don’t wait one moment to pour Your blessings on us, and to place our feet on the path You have set before us – Your path, that brings us to the most beautiful places, and that leads us deep into Your heart.

I love You, God – so much! I thank You and I praise You. You amaze me, always, and Your love is overwhelming. Thank You, God, for who You are. Thank You for Your love. In Jesus’ name. Amen.

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